[ Guilt and irritation flood her system as she listens. She keeps the feelings under wraps, but she can't help but feel that she should have known something was off, why hadn't she asked who was caring for him. Then again, why had no one else stepped up to the challenge.
They way he talks makes it sound like they are doing okay on their own, but that really doesn't matter. It's not okay for them to be alone. It's not okay at all. ]
I am glad that you have each other Eddie...but neither one of you should be on your own. Has no one been looking in on you?
[ Making sure they had healthy food? Making sure their basic needs were met? Making sure that they had the support of adults to lean on while they were stuck here? ]
(It's something Eddie has heard before from adults. Eddie doesn't look particularly phased. Instead, he sips at his lemonade and stares at her from over the edge of his cup. He shrugs.)
No. But that's kinda how adults work. I've basically been on my own for like. A year.
(Adults would always say how they were super worried about him or something, but then they'd say he was fine alone and leave him to his own devices. Some said he would have to grow up eventually.
Eddie figures this will be another one of those situations. It's less against Angela, and more against how adults have always been.)
Not that I know of. (Which was a little creepy sometimes but at least they weren't completely alone.)
Sometimes an adult will ask if I'm eating okay or whatever. (If that was what she was worried about.)
Adults shouldn't work that way. You may feel like you are okay on your own, but there is a reason that children aren't released into the world until they are older.
[ She also knew how awful it was to be alone. As an orphan it hit her hard.
She felt sick to her stomach that she hadn't checked in on him better. She should have known, but now that she did she was going to find a way to remedy this. She glances out the window to the house next door. Dark. Empty. Very close. An idea was beginning to formulate in her mind. ]
Well. [ She set her glass on the table and a determined look came over her. ]
It's settled then. I'll move into the house next door and be available to you and Chloe.
(Eddie doesn't say anything to that. It's one of those very odd situations. Eddie was young enough that he, on a daily basis, craved some maternal structure or presence in his life. Eddie loved his own mother, but he wouldn't want her in his life again if he could help it, but he did want a mother in his life. He wanted it so bad that it made him ache.
But he was also old enough that Eddie felt like he couldn't really admit that anymore. He felt like maybe he shouldn't want to have a parent around. In many ways, he didn't want a parental figure around. He was twelve and he wanted to be on his own because what twelve year old boy didn't relish the thought of being able to stay up as late as he wanted or eat what he wanted when he wanted? It was freeing.
It was a messy contradiction of a situation, and Eddie doesn't feel like there's a right reply to be given. It really was awful to be alone too. There were many times Eddie wanted to cry into his momma's chest all over again. Maybe he didn't think adults could fix the world, but sometimes he felt like they were the only ones with the power to make it softer.
When they bothered to use that power- and everyone knew Eddie thought most adults never used their power for good.
Except for adults like Angela. His whole body itches to go to her when she offers- no, insists living next door. His arms ache to hug, and instead, he sits there, clutching his lemonade. His face was a little red, and he was gnawing at the inside of his cheek. Easy there.)
....You don't...have to do that. (It's not an argument whatsoever. It's clear that Eddie wants her to do that, but isn't sure how to go about saying as much. He didn't want her to think he needed her. He didn't want her to think he was a baby who couldn't take care of himself. He didn't want to tell her what to do with her life.
But God, there was some serious relief beginning to flourish in his chest.)
[ There was a part of her that wanted to tell him that she would be moving directly into his home to take care of things. However, she also had a suspicion that it wasn't the best idea to place herself directly into their line of sight. Eddie and Chloe had been without adult supervision for awhile and both of them were very hesitant around adults. There is also the part of her that really doesn't fully know how to parent. She's always been on her own save for a relationship or two and children are not in the cards for her. She didn't doubt that they could be fine with a little space, after all she had grown up without direct adult supervision, she understood kids could take some care of themselves, especially teenagers. It would be the same as it had been with her and Tobjorn. A present adult that did not step on any toes.
No, the large house next door looked like the perfect solution. Let the children feel like they had a little bit of freedom, and she would provide and care for them from a very close distance that would allow her a comfortable access to them. If there was a crisis she would be there in moments and her door would always be open to them.
She picks up quickly on the relief that Eddie is feeling. It's definitely the right thing to do. ]
Nonsense. I can't stand the place that I am living and you both need someone that you can rely fully on. I'll be able to be there for you at any time and you can come and go from my home as you please. I will take care of the adult things and you and Chloe can just be kids.
(It wasn't necessarily as if Eddie would refuse Angela moving in with him. He would never know how to tell an adult no, and maybe that right there was the problem. Eddie was still young enough that his mindset was solidly locked in the foundation that adults had absolute control over him. It's why he loathed every time an adult raised their voice or told him to do something.
It wasn't that Eddie was always against what he was told to do. It was that he hated how he knew adults knew that Eddie had no choice but to agree. It was a power dynamic that Eddie couldn't get out of, and every time some adult didn't leave him with any choice, he automatically felt anxious. Because what did that mean for the future? How far would it go until an adult was taking advantage in other kinds of ways just because they had the power to? Eddie knew what happened to Beverly. Knew what happened to Dorsey Corcoran. He wasn't fucking stupid.
Not that he thought Angela would ever go that far, or even nudge up against the line of abuse. She was too good, too kind and thoughtful. There wasn't a part of her that Eddie thought could be abusive least of all to children.
But it was a mentality so thoroughly buried inside of Eddie that it was near impossible to get him thinking away from that.
So Angela not pressing to live with him? It was a comfort because it felt a little bit like Angela giving him the space to be free.
It almost felt like a gift. A gift that sounded like trains going far, far away, and seagulls crying overhead as they flew somewhere far from Eddie.
His eyes are wet for just a second, but then he's blinking a few times and drinking the rest of his lemonade to get over that thick feeling in his throat.)
Thank you. (Eddie finally says, his voice wobbling.)
Chloe deserves that. (Which he felt from the bottom of his heart. Chloe was just a kid too. He didn't really think being eighteen or nineteen somehow magically transformed people into mature adult-thinkers. Not at all. That was silly.
More than that, he felt like he wanted it too, but he didn't know if he deserved anything in this world, so he remains quiet in regards to him.)
If you need help with anything, Chloe and I would both pitch in.
[ She was a little bit relieved that Eddie so willingly accepts the offer. She had half expected a bit of push back on the idea, or at the very least insistence that they didn't need it. She is quick to realize just how much they need it when she doesn't get that push back.
Already she is formulating a moving plan in her head. She takes another sip of the lemonade and smiles at Eddie. ]
You both do. This place puts enough pressure on you. It's time to let someone else carry a little of that extra burden.
Besides, maybe the two of you can make sure that I remember to eat.
[ They could look after each other that way, after all it didn't need to be one sided. Angela might have been great at taking care of others, but her self care waned sometimes. ]
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no subject
They way he talks makes it sound like they are doing okay on their own, but that really doesn't matter. It's not okay for them to be alone. It's not okay at all. ]
I am glad that you have each other Eddie...but neither one of you should be on your own. Has no one been looking in on you?
[ Making sure they had healthy food? Making sure their basic needs were met? Making sure that they had the support of adults to lean on while they were stuck here? ]
No neighbors or anything?
no subject
No. But that's kinda how adults work. I've basically been on my own for like. A year.
(Adults would always say how they were super worried about him or something, but then they'd say he was fine alone and leave him to his own devices. Some said he would have to grow up eventually.
Eddie figures this will be another one of those situations. It's less against Angela, and more against how adults have always been.)
Not that I know of. (Which was a little creepy sometimes but at least they weren't completely alone.)
Sometimes an adult will ask if I'm eating okay or whatever. (If that was what she was worried about.)
no subject
[ She also knew how awful it was to be alone. As an orphan it hit her hard.
She felt sick to her stomach that she hadn't checked in on him better. She should have known, but now that she did she was going to find a way to remedy this. She glances out the window to the house next door. Dark. Empty. Very close. An idea was beginning to formulate in her mind. ]
Well. [ She set her glass on the table and a determined look came over her. ]
It's settled then. I'll move into the house next door and be available to you and Chloe.
no subject
But he was also old enough that Eddie felt like he couldn't really admit that anymore. He felt like maybe he shouldn't want to have a parent around. In many ways, he didn't want a parental figure around. He was twelve and he wanted to be on his own because what twelve year old boy didn't relish the thought of being able to stay up as late as he wanted or eat what he wanted when he wanted? It was freeing.
It was a messy contradiction of a situation, and Eddie doesn't feel like there's a right reply to be given. It really was awful to be alone too. There were many times Eddie wanted to cry into his momma's chest all over again. Maybe he didn't think adults could fix the world, but sometimes he felt like they were the only ones with the power to make it softer.
When they bothered to use that power- and everyone knew Eddie thought most adults never used their power for good.
Except for adults like Angela. His whole body itches to go to her when she offers- no, insists living next door. His arms ache to hug, and instead, he sits there, clutching his lemonade. His face was a little red, and he was gnawing at the inside of his cheek. Easy there.)
....You don't...have to do that. (It's not an argument whatsoever. It's clear that Eddie wants her to do that, but isn't sure how to go about saying as much. He didn't want her to think he needed her. He didn't want her to think he was a baby who couldn't take care of himself. He didn't want to tell her what to do with her life.
But God, there was some serious relief beginning to flourish in his chest.)
no subject
No, the large house next door looked like the perfect solution. Let the children feel like they had a little bit of freedom, and she would provide and care for them from a very close distance that would allow her a comfortable access to them. If there was a crisis she would be there in moments and her door would always be open to them.
She picks up quickly on the relief that Eddie is feeling. It's definitely the right thing to do. ]
Nonsense. I can't stand the place that I am living and you both need someone that you can rely fully on. I'll be able to be there for you at any time and you can come and go from my home as you please. I will take care of the adult things and you and Chloe can just be kids.
no subject
It wasn't that Eddie was always against what he was told to do. It was that he hated how he knew adults knew that Eddie had no choice but to agree. It was a power dynamic that Eddie couldn't get out of, and every time some adult didn't leave him with any choice, he automatically felt anxious. Because what did that mean for the future? How far would it go until an adult was taking advantage in other kinds of ways just because they had the power to? Eddie knew what happened to Beverly. Knew what happened to Dorsey Corcoran. He wasn't fucking stupid.
Not that he thought Angela would ever go that far, or even nudge up against the line of abuse. She was too good, too kind and thoughtful. There wasn't a part of her that Eddie thought could be abusive least of all to children.
But it was a mentality so thoroughly buried inside of Eddie that it was near impossible to get him thinking away from that.
So Angela not pressing to live with him? It was a comfort because it felt a little bit like Angela giving him the space to be free.
It almost felt like a gift. A gift that sounded like trains going far, far away, and seagulls crying overhead as they flew somewhere far from Eddie.
His eyes are wet for just a second, but then he's blinking a few times and drinking the rest of his lemonade to get over that thick feeling in his throat.)
Thank you. (Eddie finally says, his voice wobbling.)
Chloe deserves that. (Which he felt from the bottom of his heart. Chloe was just a kid too. He didn't really think being eighteen or nineteen somehow magically transformed people into mature adult-thinkers. Not at all. That was silly.
More than that, he felt like he wanted it too, but he didn't know if he deserved anything in this world, so he remains quiet in regards to him.)
If you need help with anything, Chloe and I would both pitch in.
no subject
Already she is formulating a moving plan in her head. She takes another sip of the lemonade and smiles at Eddie. ]
You both do. This place puts enough pressure on you. It's time to let someone else carry a little of that extra burden.
Besides, maybe the two of you can make sure that I remember to eat.
[ They could look after each other that way, after all it didn't need to be one sided. Angela might have been great at taking care of others, but her self care waned sometimes. ]