Angela would have argued that bringing Amelie here was more a recipe for disaster. The last thing this place needed was more wild Talon members. She wished more for Ana or Jack. Someone else from his past that knew him before all of this. Thinking about them just made her want to start crying all over again. Her lip even started to tremble and she closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears at bay. She didn’t voice the thoughts that brought it on, but she figured Moira could guess that her head was a mess of painful memories.
She did need sleep. Her brain was a waste at the moment from the alcohol and it was even starting to effect her physically. “I know, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep very well.” Part of her wished she could throw up everything in her stomach just to feel better, but it wasn’t quite at that point despite how much she had had. “I’m afraid of where my mind will go if I fall asleep.” She could just picture the fitful night sleep she had ahead of herself.
Slowly though she started to try and get up. At this point her legs were far too weak and she floundered before collapsing right back against Moira. “I think I drank too much.” She had gone farther even than she usually did to keep the demons away. The demons tonight though were far worse than they typically were. She felt suddenly embarrassed and ridiculous. She had to laugh at herself. “What would people think if they saw their ‘guardian angel’ like this.” She emphasized the nickname with quite a bit of disgust. She was no guardian angel, she couldn’t even save Chloe.
"That you look like a dog's breakfast," she teased, her voice heavy with affection more than judgement. Moira pulled herself up, before bending enough to scoop Angela into her arms, cradling her against her chest as she carried her in a typical bridal fashion. She pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting her lips linger, before she started to make her way for the stairs.
She made sure to keep her from knocking into anything as she made her way up, pushing her bedroom door open with her hip. She could only hope that Eddie and Max hadn't made their way here yet to set up their temporary lodgings, of which she was sure Angela had more or less demanded of them rather than just extending an invitation. The last thing she wanted was for Eddie to hear Angela scream.
As she laid her down on the bed, she finally addressed her worries about sleep. "I'll stay with you." It was more of a statement than an offer. She had no intention of leaving her alone in such a state, no matter how viciously they may have fought with one another. "It may not make the night easier on you, but at least you won't be alone."
She didn’t doubt it, and the affectionate way she said it made her give a small smile for the first time that night. Being carried up the stairs went great lengths as well to calming her down. They had fought and terribly so, but Moira was still here. Was it possible that they could find their way through the mud of the past and the parts of each other that they didn’t agree with and still find common ground? She felt a little bit of hope makes its way through her. They were always stronger together. It was like Zenyatta had told her about Yin and Yang. They were the balance that the other needed.
She had no ability at all to seal any of those thoughts with physical affection but when Moira turned to get her pajamas she reached out to grab her hand and turn her around again.
“I wanted you. Back then. I didn’t know how to ask and I was too stubborn to let you know just how much. I don’t understand everything you do and I’ll continue to fight with you in order to keep you from going over the edge and doing something I know you’ll regret.” Her eyes looked up her and the anger was completely gone. Her heart still felt heavy and she was raw from the emotional battle that had just raged, but she felt the love too. “I am trying to believe that you have your reasons for being with Talon, I think some of them may revolve around Gabriel, but whatever they are I need you to know that I have faith in you. I don’t trust Talon, but I trust you.” She took a deep breath. “I love you.”
Moira had turned back to listen to her words, forehead creased with confusion on why she had felt the need to reassure her of it all. It seemed pointless, as she hadn't been particularly worried, even after their argument, but those final words, the last three she uttered, made her freeze. Her heart felt like it was thudding a mile a minute and she was sure her pulse could be seen in her neck. Her eyes stayed on her as she tried to process through it. Again.
"You never say that when you're sober," she said after a minute. It seemed callous and cold, though, and she sighed, looking away for a moment. A part of her wanted to say it back. To make it clear that she felt the same. But she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to announce undying affection so easily. The words would get stuck in her throat and she'd panic. She always panicked.
"Perhaps if you do, I'll finally say it back." It was said softer than her last words, hoping that she understood that she did love her by phrasing it that way, but without forcing herself to utter the words out loud just yet.
She wasn’t quite sure what she had expected. A kiss? A promise? For her to say it back? She supposed it was fair that Moira wasn’t willing to say the words back to her. But there was a fresh wave of sadness that made her doubtful and her head fell a bit to look at her hands. It wasn’t fair of her to say it while she was drunk, but one reason she didn’t say it sober was because she was afraid of how it would affect Moira. With her mind foggy and her brain exhausted she had not filter that held back the words. She gave a small nod at the comment, trying to remind herself of the fact that Moira was at least here and taking care of her. She tried to note the affection in the way she suggested she would say it back. All the same it stung a little.
“That’s fair.” Her voice was quiet when she said it and she couldn’t bring herself to look up at her. Part of her felt like it was just another thing that she had done wrong that night. “Just know...I may be drunk, but I feel that way even when I’m not.”
Moira nodded quietly as she went to grab the PJs from the drawer. She knew that Angela wouldn't need assistance getting them on, but still laid them down gently on the bed for her before going to remove her own tie. She slipped out of the shirt and pants she'd warn, the tank top she wore underneath and her underwear serving well enough for sleepwear in her mind.
As she slid into bed beside her, she wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, taking a deep breath to pull in her scent from her hair. It was a comforting one, even if it was tinged with the smell of wine at this point.
"I... feel that way as well, Angela," she said softly. "Just give me time."
Angela got herself dressed for bed with only a little bit of sway. Her heart was throbbing and she was grateful to climb under the sheets and lay her head down on the pillow. Moira's words were reassuring and she gave a little nod as she tucked herself in against her.
Her heart felt as heavy as her head. Nothing was really solved, but she and Moira had survived the blow out. She would use Moira as her grounding as the next few days played out. As she drifted off to an uncomfortable sleep besides her, she at least knew she wasn't alone.
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She did need sleep. Her brain was a waste at the moment from the alcohol and it was even starting to effect her physically. “I know, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep very well.” Part of her wished she could throw up everything in her stomach just to feel better, but it wasn’t quite at that point despite how much she had had. “I’m afraid of where my mind will go if I fall asleep.” She could just picture the fitful night sleep she had ahead of herself.
Slowly though she started to try and get up. At this point her legs were far too weak and she floundered before collapsing right back against Moira. “I think I drank too much.” She had gone farther even than she usually did to keep the demons away. The demons tonight though were far worse than they typically were. She felt suddenly embarrassed and ridiculous. She had to laugh at herself. “What would people think if they saw their ‘guardian angel’ like this.” She emphasized the nickname with quite a bit of disgust. She was no guardian angel, she couldn’t even save Chloe.
no subject
She made sure to keep her from knocking into anything as she made her way up, pushing her bedroom door open with her hip. She could only hope that Eddie and Max hadn't made their way here yet to set up their temporary lodgings, of which she was sure Angela had more or less demanded of them rather than just extending an invitation. The last thing she wanted was for Eddie to hear Angela scream.
As she laid her down on the bed, she finally addressed her worries about sleep. "I'll stay with you." It was more of a statement than an offer. She had no intention of leaving her alone in such a state, no matter how viciously they may have fought with one another. "It may not make the night easier on you, but at least you won't be alone."
no subject
She had no ability at all to seal any of those thoughts with physical affection but when Moira turned to get her pajamas she reached out to grab her hand and turn her around again.
“I wanted you. Back then. I didn’t know how to ask and I was too stubborn to let you know just how much. I don’t understand everything you do and I’ll continue to fight with you in order to keep you from going over the edge and doing something I know you’ll regret.” Her eyes looked up her and the anger was completely gone. Her heart still felt heavy and she was raw from the emotional battle that had just raged, but she felt the love too. “I am trying to believe that you have your reasons for being with Talon, I think some of them may revolve around Gabriel, but whatever they are I need you to know that I have faith in you. I don’t trust Talon, but I trust you.” She took a deep breath. “I love you.”
no subject
"You never say that when you're sober," she said after a minute. It seemed callous and cold, though, and she sighed, looking away for a moment. A part of her wanted to say it back. To make it clear that she felt the same. But she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to announce undying affection so easily. The words would get stuck in her throat and she'd panic. She always panicked.
"Perhaps if you do, I'll finally say it back." It was said softer than her last words, hoping that she understood that she did love her by phrasing it that way, but without forcing herself to utter the words out loud just yet.
no subject
“That’s fair.” Her voice was quiet when she said it and she couldn’t bring herself to look up at her. Part of her felt like it was just another thing that she had done wrong that night. “Just know...I may be drunk, but I feel that way even when I’m not.”
no subject
As she slid into bed beside her, she wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, taking a deep breath to pull in her scent from her hair. It was a comforting one, even if it was tinged with the smell of wine at this point.
"I... feel that way as well, Angela," she said softly. "Just give me time."
no subject
Her heart felt as heavy as her head. Nothing was really solved, but she and Moira had survived the blow out. She would use Moira as her grounding as the next few days played out. As she drifted off to an uncomfortable sleep besides her, she at least knew she wasn't alone.