Someone in Talon had ulterior motives and Angela didn’t doubt that for a second, if she could make an educated guess it was that it went far deeper than even the council had any idea of. Then again, she wasn’t in the middle of it and she didn’t know. All she knew was that Talon did a lot of very grievous things. They had already benefited off the brainwashing of poor Amelie and Reaper was so far gone. It wasn’t impossible to believe that maybe Talon had their claws in Moira as well. She was a major asset on any team. Everyone knew that, it was why Overwatch had never dropped her but kept her secret. Angela had mixed feelings on her work, but she could not deny the results or the science.
Moira said she wasn’t ashamed of her choices, but she wasn’t sure that was true. “I don’t know. I go where I can do the most good. I’ve always just wanted to save people.” When spoken that way it sounded like a pure and just purpose. But she played with life and death. She could say she had never been okay with what her work had been used for, but it was still on her hands. And Overwatch was not innocent. It had gone deep and a part of her wouldn’t have been surprised if Talon and Overwatch had deep down been connected in some way. “Why should I be ashamed of that?” But there was shame. It was written on her face. She’d also taken lives in Overwatch. She wasn’t pure and she knew that.
“But I don’t believe that you feel no shame over any of your choices. If you liked everything you did there would be no reason for you to try to fix him.” She knew Moira wasn’t being honest, the confusion showed her as much. “You can fool everyone else into believing you are cold and calculated but you can’t fool me. I know you too well.”
A large part of her wanted to run away from the entire conversation. Where she had always scolded Angela for leaving when things were rough, she had never been any better. She clenched her fists tighter at the idea that she held shame, regret, some sort of desire to fix the past - the idea that it was true was too much to think about. Her head felt like it was pounding and she unclasped her hands so she could place her palms against her eyes.
"Fixing scientific mistakes are not the same as feeling shame over my action. I owe it to him to right what wasn't intended." She hadn't even been afraid at first with his transformation - she'd been fascinated, wanted to study it. It was the rapid results that had made her fight back against it. The clear toll it had taken on his body and eventually his mind.
She let her hands fall again, shaking her head. "This has nothing to do with what's happened in this town. Why are you bringing all this up now?"
Things were just spiraling was the main reason. Her feelings were all over the map and she was having a hard time dealing with everything this meant. Angela waved her arm out dramatically. “Because!” She had meant to say more but her head was definitely not fully together at the moment. That was one of the reasons that it was probably all spilling out. “It has everything to do with what’s in this town. Reaper killed someone I loved! All my life all I have done is watched everyone slip away from me. They die or leave!” She wiped a palm across her eye to try and get rid of the tears.
“Gabriel’s gone!” She half yelled half scream it out. She gave a sob as she tried to collect herself. “I held on to hope that maybe he was in there somewhere. After all he saved my life. But then he did this, he went and killed someone else I love. It doesn’t matter if they will come back because this has lead us down a horrible path of events. People are ready to go after him with pitchforks. They don’t even want to see anything outside of their own anger.” She stopped to cover her face with her hands before wiping her eyes again and continuing. “And they blame me! As if I could have prevented it. Maybe I should have.”
She walked back to get her glass of wine. Lifting to her lips she took a long sip before coughing. She was getting a little far gone on the wine that was for sure. Setting it down the liquid smiled onto her table. “Scheisse!” But it was quickly forgotten as she turned on Moira.
“And I have no idea where you are going stand on this. He’s your ally! Your friend. You are the only one he seems to give a damn about. And it’s going to take a lot more than your list to stop him now. But what will you do. Who are you going to side with! And I am terrified that you are going to side with him. I have to stand by them, I have to protect them! You will leave me again for him! And I will have lost both of you...” She couldn’t stop the sobbing now as the truth of her fears came tumbling out in a drunken but honest rage. She fell to her knees at that and buried her face into her hands repeatedly crying out: “He’s gone...he’s gone...” Chloe would come back. Reaper never would, and it the messages some had been sending her were honest than she had no right to even grieve that.
She'd pulled back slightly at the scream, her hand reaching out a second later when she had dropped the wine. But she let it drop without touching her, giving her the time to let it out. To scream, to cry, to fall apart the way she hadn't allowed herself to when people were throwing their accusations at her. She waited silently, keeping back at first so that she wouldn't end up caught in the crossfire of her meltdown.
It wasn't until she had started to repeat herself in her sobs that Moira finally went to move to her. Her arms quickly moved around her, pulling her close, holding her tight enough so that she couldn't break away if she started to struggle. She didn't try to quiet her or make her stop her words, but she did her best to get her head to rest against her chest.
"He isn't gone. No matter what they say, I know Reyes is still there. It's why he cares for me. It's why he saved you. It's why he's lashing out so badly in return. He wants Reyes dead, but he isn't. Trust me." She practically whispered the last words, pressing her forehead against her hair. "He would never do anything that risked losing me. I know his limits. And he knows how I... how I feel about you. He won't do anything to risk losing me. He won't make me choose. Please don't make me choose either."
At first Angela did fight and try to pull away, but her attempts were weak and futile at best. Soon enough she was clinging to Moira, her hands fisted into her shirt and she buried her face into her chest. The sobbing held on for awhile because she desperately needed to get it all out. It was the combination of everything that had happened that day. From Chloe’s death and the painful realization that Gabriel was so much farther gone than she had thought, to the cruel words that she had barely known how to navigate without shutting down. She had held off then, but she couldn’t hold it off any longer. So she wept in a way that she hadn’t in a very long time.
Little by little her sobbing softened and her body stopped trembling. Her grip loosened on Moira’s shirt and she simply melted against her, weak and spent. She remembered crying like this before during the Zurich explosion, but she hadn’t been able to lean on the other woman the way she was now. Something truly had changed, but she wasn’t sure what and she didn’t have the energy to figure out what.
Moira’s words settled in over her as she assured her that Gabriel was still there. She wasn’t sure, but with the hopeful comments about people being brought back from the darkness a small flicker of hope burned inside of her. She knew that Moira was right to ask that of her, to not make her choose. It wasn’t fair, and if anyone could save him, it was Moira. “I do trust you.” Her voice was soft when she finally spoke. “I just don’t know what to do. I’m so confused right now.” She shifted in her arms a little so that she could look up at her. “I am torn between wanting to kill him myself and fight for him. And there is a line now of people lining up to kill him. I’ve...I’ve never been blamed for anything before...” She trailed off in the honest confession, she always somehow managed to come out on top in everyone’s eyes. Even as Overwatch fell, she was still the world’s guardian angel. “I didn’t do anything wrong...did I?”
Moira kept her grip on her, hands resting firmly against her back, still and solid to try and give her some kind of grounding. She wasn't sure whether or not she could protect Reaper from the anger of the community, nor was she sure it was entirely her job to do so. He'd chosen this path on his own and she wasn't his mother anymore than she viewed herself the mother of the rest of this town." He had made his bed and he will have to lie in it, regardless the consequences that came his way. It isn't up to anyone to keep him safe."
But that was hardly the most important thing. She pulled back, enough so that she could put her hands against Angela's jaw and lift her face to look at her. Her thumbs brushed the tears away from her cheeks and she watched her quietly for a moment.
"You didn't. You are not to blame for the actions of others. Warnings help no one and there was no means to keep the public safe from him if he put his mind to it. You know that."
She breathed a shaky sigh of relief when she heard her say that he had made his bed. To her that meant that she wasn’t going to protect him from his actions. So at the very least she knew Moira was holding Reaper accountable for his actions. It meant that Moira was one her side, even if she wasn’t going to give up on Reaper.
When the other woman wiped her cheeks with the brush of her thumbs she relaxed a little bit more. She knew she probably looked a fright from all the crying she had been doing, her eyes were throbbing from it. “No, warnings don’t work. I warned Chloe and it did nothing to keep her away.” Her head came to settle against Moira’s shoulder as she nestled herself closer to her.
“I don’t want you to give up on him. I don’t know if I can. I will do anything to stop him from ever doing that again. However, I also know that killing him repeatedly isn’t going to do anything.” She felt angry that some people had put her into a position where she had to question her own judgment. It was so easy for them to judge him based on one fact. A heinous fact, but still only one piece of a bigger picture.
“To be honest I think the only way to stop his madness is to get Gabriel back. That’s the only way to ensure everyone’s safety. But...there are others who might be able to help.” She let out another big shaky sigh, brushing at her own eyes. She really couldn’t think of more problem solving, her head ached and she was weary from her emotions. “Oh Moira,I don’t know what to do.”
Moira was quiet for some time. She wasn't sure how to respond, really. In the long run, she had no idea how to fix Reaper, how to make things better, how to get Gabriel back. She had her theories, her science, but she wasn't sure any of it would work here. If too many people attempted to cure him, there was the potential for him to retreat that much further. If he knew she sanctioned any of it, he might even pull away from her, the last remaining friend he had in this place.
A part of her longed for Amélie. Despite the tension between them, despite her lack of emotion, she brought out the humanity in Reyes more than anyone she knew. He protected her, wanted nothing more than to keep her safe from further harm. A repayment to his lost comrade and the only thing that brought out Reyes in place of Reaper.
"You should rest," she said finally. "After everything today, you deserve some sleep. I know it won't come easy, but you will be more clear headed once the alcohol has worked from your system and your emotions are running less high."
Angela would have argued that bringing Amelie here was more a recipe for disaster. The last thing this place needed was more wild Talon members. She wished more for Ana or Jack. Someone else from his past that knew him before all of this. Thinking about them just made her want to start crying all over again. Her lip even started to tremble and she closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears at bay. She didn’t voice the thoughts that brought it on, but she figured Moira could guess that her head was a mess of painful memories.
She did need sleep. Her brain was a waste at the moment from the alcohol and it was even starting to effect her physically. “I know, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep very well.” Part of her wished she could throw up everything in her stomach just to feel better, but it wasn’t quite at that point despite how much she had had. “I’m afraid of where my mind will go if I fall asleep.” She could just picture the fitful night sleep she had ahead of herself.
Slowly though she started to try and get up. At this point her legs were far too weak and she floundered before collapsing right back against Moira. “I think I drank too much.” She had gone farther even than she usually did to keep the demons away. The demons tonight though were far worse than they typically were. She felt suddenly embarrassed and ridiculous. She had to laugh at herself. “What would people think if they saw their ‘guardian angel’ like this.” She emphasized the nickname with quite a bit of disgust. She was no guardian angel, she couldn’t even save Chloe.
"That you look like a dog's breakfast," she teased, her voice heavy with affection more than judgement. Moira pulled herself up, before bending enough to scoop Angela into her arms, cradling her against her chest as she carried her in a typical bridal fashion. She pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting her lips linger, before she started to make her way for the stairs.
She made sure to keep her from knocking into anything as she made her way up, pushing her bedroom door open with her hip. She could only hope that Eddie and Max hadn't made their way here yet to set up their temporary lodgings, of which she was sure Angela had more or less demanded of them rather than just extending an invitation. The last thing she wanted was for Eddie to hear Angela scream.
As she laid her down on the bed, she finally addressed her worries about sleep. "I'll stay with you." It was more of a statement than an offer. She had no intention of leaving her alone in such a state, no matter how viciously they may have fought with one another. "It may not make the night easier on you, but at least you won't be alone."
She didn’t doubt it, and the affectionate way she said it made her give a small smile for the first time that night. Being carried up the stairs went great lengths as well to calming her down. They had fought and terribly so, but Moira was still here. Was it possible that they could find their way through the mud of the past and the parts of each other that they didn’t agree with and still find common ground? She felt a little bit of hope makes its way through her. They were always stronger together. It was like Zenyatta had told her about Yin and Yang. They were the balance that the other needed.
She had no ability at all to seal any of those thoughts with physical affection but when Moira turned to get her pajamas she reached out to grab her hand and turn her around again.
“I wanted you. Back then. I didn’t know how to ask and I was too stubborn to let you know just how much. I don’t understand everything you do and I’ll continue to fight with you in order to keep you from going over the edge and doing something I know you’ll regret.” Her eyes looked up her and the anger was completely gone. Her heart still felt heavy and she was raw from the emotional battle that had just raged, but she felt the love too. “I am trying to believe that you have your reasons for being with Talon, I think some of them may revolve around Gabriel, but whatever they are I need you to know that I have faith in you. I don’t trust Talon, but I trust you.” She took a deep breath. “I love you.”
Moira had turned back to listen to her words, forehead creased with confusion on why she had felt the need to reassure her of it all. It seemed pointless, as she hadn't been particularly worried, even after their argument, but those final words, the last three she uttered, made her freeze. Her heart felt like it was thudding a mile a minute and she was sure her pulse could be seen in her neck. Her eyes stayed on her as she tried to process through it. Again.
"You never say that when you're sober," she said after a minute. It seemed callous and cold, though, and she sighed, looking away for a moment. A part of her wanted to say it back. To make it clear that she felt the same. But she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to announce undying affection so easily. The words would get stuck in her throat and she'd panic. She always panicked.
"Perhaps if you do, I'll finally say it back." It was said softer than her last words, hoping that she understood that she did love her by phrasing it that way, but without forcing herself to utter the words out loud just yet.
She wasn’t quite sure what she had expected. A kiss? A promise? For her to say it back? She supposed it was fair that Moira wasn’t willing to say the words back to her. But there was a fresh wave of sadness that made her doubtful and her head fell a bit to look at her hands. It wasn’t fair of her to say it while she was drunk, but one reason she didn’t say it sober was because she was afraid of how it would affect Moira. With her mind foggy and her brain exhausted she had not filter that held back the words. She gave a small nod at the comment, trying to remind herself of the fact that Moira was at least here and taking care of her. She tried to note the affection in the way she suggested she would say it back. All the same it stung a little.
“That’s fair.” Her voice was quiet when she said it and she couldn’t bring herself to look up at her. Part of her felt like it was just another thing that she had done wrong that night. “Just know...I may be drunk, but I feel that way even when I’m not.”
Moira nodded quietly as she went to grab the PJs from the drawer. She knew that Angela wouldn't need assistance getting them on, but still laid them down gently on the bed for her before going to remove her own tie. She slipped out of the shirt and pants she'd warn, the tank top she wore underneath and her underwear serving well enough for sleepwear in her mind.
As she slid into bed beside her, she wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, taking a deep breath to pull in her scent from her hair. It was a comforting one, even if it was tinged with the smell of wine at this point.
"I... feel that way as well, Angela," she said softly. "Just give me time."
Angela got herself dressed for bed with only a little bit of sway. Her heart was throbbing and she was grateful to climb under the sheets and lay her head down on the pillow. Moira's words were reassuring and she gave a little nod as she tucked herself in against her.
Her heart felt as heavy as her head. Nothing was really solved, but she and Moira had survived the blow out. She would use Moira as her grounding as the next few days played out. As she drifted off to an uncomfortable sleep besides her, she at least knew she wasn't alone.
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Moira said she wasn’t ashamed of her choices, but she wasn’t sure that was true. “I don’t know. I go where I can do the most good. I’ve always just wanted to save people.” When spoken that way it sounded like a pure and just purpose. But she played with life and death. She could say she had never been okay with what her work had been used for, but it was still on her hands. And Overwatch was not innocent. It had gone deep and a part of her wouldn’t have been surprised if Talon and Overwatch had deep down been connected in some way. “Why should I be ashamed of that?” But there was shame. It was written on her face. She’d also taken lives in Overwatch. She wasn’t pure and she knew that.
“But I don’t believe that you feel no shame over any of your choices. If you liked everything you did there would be no reason for you to try to fix him.” She knew Moira wasn’t being honest, the confusion showed her as much. “You can fool everyone else into believing you are cold and calculated but you can’t fool me. I know you too well.”
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"Fixing scientific mistakes are not the same as feeling shame over my action. I owe it to him to right what wasn't intended." She hadn't even been afraid at first with his transformation - she'd been fascinated, wanted to study it. It was the rapid results that had made her fight back against it. The clear toll it had taken on his body and eventually his mind.
She let her hands fall again, shaking her head. "This has nothing to do with what's happened in this town. Why are you bringing all this up now?"
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“Gabriel’s gone!” She half yelled half scream it out. She gave a sob as she tried to collect herself. “I held on to hope that maybe he was in there somewhere. After all he saved my life. But then he did this, he went and killed someone else I love. It doesn’t matter if they will come back because this has lead us down a horrible path of events. People are ready to go after him with pitchforks. They don’t even want to see anything outside of their own anger.” She stopped to cover her face with her hands before wiping her eyes again and continuing. “And they blame me! As if I could have prevented it. Maybe I should have.”
She walked back to get her glass of wine. Lifting to her lips she took a long sip before coughing. She was getting a little far gone on the wine that was for sure. Setting it down the liquid smiled onto her table. “Scheisse!” But it was quickly forgotten as she turned on Moira.
“And I have no idea where you are going stand on this. He’s your ally! Your friend. You are the only one he seems to give a damn about. And it’s going to take a lot more than your list to stop him now. But what will you do. Who are you going to side with! And I am terrified that you are going to side with him. I have to stand by them, I have to protect them! You will leave me again for him! And I will have lost both of you...” She couldn’t stop the sobbing now as the truth of her fears came tumbling out in a drunken but honest rage. She fell to her knees at that and buried her face into her hands repeatedly crying out: “He’s gone...he’s gone...” Chloe would come back. Reaper never would, and it the messages some had been sending her were honest than she had no right to even grieve that.
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It wasn't until she had started to repeat herself in her sobs that Moira finally went to move to her. Her arms quickly moved around her, pulling her close, holding her tight enough so that she couldn't break away if she started to struggle. She didn't try to quiet her or make her stop her words, but she did her best to get her head to rest against her chest.
"He isn't gone. No matter what they say, I know Reyes is still there. It's why he cares for me. It's why he saved you. It's why he's lashing out so badly in return. He wants Reyes dead, but he isn't. Trust me." She practically whispered the last words, pressing her forehead against her hair. "He would never do anything that risked losing me. I know his limits. And he knows how I... how I feel about you. He won't do anything to risk losing me. He won't make me choose. Please don't make me choose either."
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Little by little her sobbing softened and her body stopped trembling. Her grip loosened on Moira’s shirt and she simply melted against her, weak and spent. She remembered crying like this before during the Zurich explosion, but she hadn’t been able to lean on the other woman the way she was now. Something truly had changed, but she wasn’t sure what and she didn’t have the energy to figure out what.
Moira’s words settled in over her as she assured her that Gabriel was still there. She wasn’t sure, but with the hopeful comments about people being brought back from the darkness a small flicker of hope burned inside of her. She knew that Moira was right to ask that of her, to not make her choose. It wasn’t fair, and if anyone could save him, it was Moira. “I do trust you.” Her voice was soft when she finally spoke. “I just don’t know what to do. I’m so confused right now.” She shifted in her arms a little so that she could look up at her. “I am torn between wanting to kill him myself and fight for him. And there is a line now of people lining up to kill him. I’ve...I’ve never been blamed for anything before...” She trailed off in the honest confession, she always somehow managed to come out on top in everyone’s eyes. Even as Overwatch fell, she was still the world’s guardian angel. “I didn’t do anything wrong...did I?”
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But that was hardly the most important thing. She pulled back, enough so that she could put her hands against Angela's jaw and lift her face to look at her. Her thumbs brushed the tears away from her cheeks and she watched her quietly for a moment.
"You didn't. You are not to blame for the actions of others. Warnings help no one and there was no means to keep the public safe from him if he put his mind to it. You know that."
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When the other woman wiped her cheeks with the brush of her thumbs she relaxed a little bit more. She knew she probably looked a fright from all the crying she had been doing, her eyes were throbbing from it. “No, warnings don’t work. I warned Chloe and it did nothing to keep her away.” Her head came to settle against Moira’s shoulder as she nestled herself closer to her.
“I don’t want you to give up on him. I don’t know if I can. I will do anything to stop him from ever doing that again. However, I also know that killing him repeatedly isn’t going to do anything.” She felt angry that some people had put her into a position where she had to question her own judgment. It was so easy for them to judge him based on one fact. A heinous fact, but still only one piece of a bigger picture.
“To be honest I think the only way to stop his madness is to get Gabriel back. That’s the only way to ensure everyone’s safety. But...there are others who might be able to help.” She let out another big shaky sigh, brushing at her own eyes. She really couldn’t think of more problem solving, her head ached and she was weary from her emotions. “Oh Moira,I don’t know what to do.”
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A part of her longed for Amélie. Despite the tension between them, despite her lack of emotion, she brought out the humanity in Reyes more than anyone she knew. He protected her, wanted nothing more than to keep her safe from further harm. A repayment to his lost comrade and the only thing that brought out Reyes in place of Reaper.
"You should rest," she said finally. "After everything today, you deserve some sleep. I know it won't come easy, but you will be more clear headed once the alcohol has worked from your system and your emotions are running less high."
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She did need sleep. Her brain was a waste at the moment from the alcohol and it was even starting to effect her physically. “I know, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep very well.” Part of her wished she could throw up everything in her stomach just to feel better, but it wasn’t quite at that point despite how much she had had. “I’m afraid of where my mind will go if I fall asleep.” She could just picture the fitful night sleep she had ahead of herself.
Slowly though she started to try and get up. At this point her legs were far too weak and she floundered before collapsing right back against Moira. “I think I drank too much.” She had gone farther even than she usually did to keep the demons away. The demons tonight though were far worse than they typically were. She felt suddenly embarrassed and ridiculous. She had to laugh at herself. “What would people think if they saw their ‘guardian angel’ like this.” She emphasized the nickname with quite a bit of disgust. She was no guardian angel, she couldn’t even save Chloe.
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She made sure to keep her from knocking into anything as she made her way up, pushing her bedroom door open with her hip. She could only hope that Eddie and Max hadn't made their way here yet to set up their temporary lodgings, of which she was sure Angela had more or less demanded of them rather than just extending an invitation. The last thing she wanted was for Eddie to hear Angela scream.
As she laid her down on the bed, she finally addressed her worries about sleep. "I'll stay with you." It was more of a statement than an offer. She had no intention of leaving her alone in such a state, no matter how viciously they may have fought with one another. "It may not make the night easier on you, but at least you won't be alone."
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She had no ability at all to seal any of those thoughts with physical affection but when Moira turned to get her pajamas she reached out to grab her hand and turn her around again.
“I wanted you. Back then. I didn’t know how to ask and I was too stubborn to let you know just how much. I don’t understand everything you do and I’ll continue to fight with you in order to keep you from going over the edge and doing something I know you’ll regret.” Her eyes looked up her and the anger was completely gone. Her heart still felt heavy and she was raw from the emotional battle that had just raged, but she felt the love too. “I am trying to believe that you have your reasons for being with Talon, I think some of them may revolve around Gabriel, but whatever they are I need you to know that I have faith in you. I don’t trust Talon, but I trust you.” She took a deep breath. “I love you.”
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"You never say that when you're sober," she said after a minute. It seemed callous and cold, though, and she sighed, looking away for a moment. A part of her wanted to say it back. To make it clear that she felt the same. But she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to announce undying affection so easily. The words would get stuck in her throat and she'd panic. She always panicked.
"Perhaps if you do, I'll finally say it back." It was said softer than her last words, hoping that she understood that she did love her by phrasing it that way, but without forcing herself to utter the words out loud just yet.
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“That’s fair.” Her voice was quiet when she said it and she couldn’t bring herself to look up at her. Part of her felt like it was just another thing that she had done wrong that night. “Just know...I may be drunk, but I feel that way even when I’m not.”
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As she slid into bed beside her, she wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, taking a deep breath to pull in her scent from her hair. It was a comforting one, even if it was tinged with the smell of wine at this point.
"I... feel that way as well, Angela," she said softly. "Just give me time."
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Her heart felt as heavy as her head. Nothing was really solved, but she and Moira had survived the blow out. She would use Moira as her grounding as the next few days played out. As she drifted off to an uncomfortable sleep besides her, she at least knew she wasn't alone.